God Wreaks Havoc

At the gruesome Battle of Gettysburg, 7,863 American soldiers were killed. Yet one would have to imagine sixty-four Battles of Gettysburg at once to equal the almost unfathomable carnage at the (slightly less famous) Battle of Mount Zemaraim where 1.2 million of God's chosen people fought against each other, and after which 500,000 lay dead.

During the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln was asked whether he thought God was on his side. He evasively replied that his greatest concern was rather "to be on God's side." Things were far more clear cut at Mount Zemaraim where God was unquestionably on one side, much to the detriment of the other.

In our latest set of five new illustrated stories, we find God regularly and repeatedly stepping into the course of human events. Is it to cure diseases, alleviate needless suffering, and bring peace to Earth? Heavens, no. God only meddles in human affairs for the important stuff, like doling out punishments of the most brutal sort when people choose to worship other gods or simply worship him in the wrong manner.

Brick Testament on Facebook, Flickr

There is now a page for The Brick Testament on the popular social networking site Facebook. It's got a photo album containing 40 of my favorite images drawn from all 370+ Bible stories illustrated so far.

I've also added some Brick Testament images to my Flickr account. These serve as "preview images" from the new stories added to the website within the last six months.

So if you're into either Facebook or Flickr, you can check those out and spread the word about The Brick Testament to your family, friends, and internet social contacts.

God Dissolves Israel

The legendary kingdom of Israel ruled over by David only remained united for about three generations before God hatched a convoluted plot that resulted in the kingdom being torn asunder, with the descendants of David continuing to rule over a mere stub in the south called Judah, and a series of other kings ruling over the northern ten tribes (confusingly enough known as Israel).

"Israel" in the north would eventually get wiped off the map by the Assyrians, while Judah in the south would never again achieve the size, power, or independence it had under David and Solomon. That is, of course, until God's more recent and even more convoluted plot that resulted in 6 million dead Jews, but a restored and independent Jewish nation at long last.

In our newest four illustrated stories, this whole process gets rolling as King Solomon dies of unspecified causes, and God's inscrutable master plan gets underway.

King Solomon: Livin' Large

In the four new illustrated Bible stories added to The Brick Testament website today, King Solomon is at his peak of his power, ruling with uncontested authority over the largest Israelite kingdom the world has ever known, acquiring such vast amounts of luxuries that visiting foreign monarchs can only gawk in amazement, and enjoying mass polygamy on a scale that has probably never been equaled in all of human history.

Yet at the height of his power, despite his being the wisest man who has ever lived or will ever live, Solomon infuriates Yahweh by enacting a policy of religious pluralism. For this loathsome act, Yahweh announces (in his divine wisdom) that he will not punish Solomon at all, but instead will wait until Solomon has died and then will punish all future Israelites by tearing apart the once great Kingdom of Israel.

The Brick Testament Progress Bar

Over the past six and a half years, many people have asked me how far along I am toward the goal of illustrating the entire Bible in LEGO. It's such an enormous book, it's pretty hard to know what to answer. I could easily see myself working on The Brick Testament for another five years. Then again, that's the same answer I gave people five years ago.

To at least give people a better sense of how much of The Bible's content has actually been illustrated by The Brick Testament so far, I've put together this Progress Bar. Enjoy.

The Ark of the Covenant: now available!

You may not have realized it, but the most recent set of King Solomon stories from earlier this month contains the last time the Ark of the Covenant is mentioned in the Bible. In commemorating this end of an era, The Brick Testament announces a brand new custom set: The Ark of the Covenant. It's an exact piece-for-piece replica of the intricate, detailed, and innovative design The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith created for the stories of The Brick Testament.

This first edition is limited to 50 sets, each with a certificate of authenticity signed by the artist. If you want to get your hands on one of these, don't wait too long before ordering. When these are gone, a second edition may not be possible (some of the necessary parts are very hard to find).

Website Improvements

Over the past week, The Brick Testament has added two new website features that you may or may not have noticed. First up is the addition of a Google Custom Search field to the front page. A sitewide search has been a highly requested feature, so I'm happy to report that you can now search this site's sprawling 4,000+ pages for any search terms your heart desires.

There has also been a small change to the site's navigation system. Whenever you reach the end of a story, you will now find a direct link to the first page of the next story. It will no longer be necessary to jump out to a section's index page to continue on. Hopefully this will make it easier for folks to spend hours rapturously clicking through the story after story while neglecting work, loved ones, household chores, and personal hygiene.

The Temple of Yahweh

Though it more commonly goes by the name of "Solomon's Temple" or "The First Temple" (to distinguish it from the later Second Temple that was still around in the time of Jesus), the true name of the most famous building endeavor from the reign of King Solomon is The Temple of Yahweh. And in this week's update of the Brick Testament, the world can finally behold this most sacred of ancient monuments in perhaps its most beautiful form, rendered entirely out of LEGO bricks, inside and out.

While Solomon spent seven years constructing this house for God (or rather, his 150,000 foreigner forced laborers did), he spent nearly twice as long on a fancy-shmancy house for himself. And rest assured, this too has been faithfully rendered in LEGO.

Finally, at the end of this building spree, Yahweh himself appears to Solomon to give him a friendly reminder that if he or his descendants ever fail to follow The Law or worship any other god, he'll eradicate Israel.

Solomon Gets Wise

A new section of the website launches today as The Brick Testament begins illustration of the stories from the reign of King Solomon as told in 1 Kings and 2 Chronicles (with the occasional dip into Proverbs, the Song of Solomon, and Ecclesiastes).

Our first nine stories find the newly-crowned Solomon tying up some loose ends left unfinished during the reign of his father David, and by "tying up loose ends" I mean carrying out a series of strategic murders and vengeance killings. Next we discover that the whole slavery / Ten Plagues thing is apparently all water under the bridge as Solomon marries the daughter of the Pharaoh of Egypt, then heads up to Gibeon to sacrifice 1,000 animals and afterwards gets blessed by Yahweh with great wisdom.

It's not long before Solomon's awe-inspiring wisdom is put on display, and word-of-mouth brings folks from around the world to Jerusalem just to hear him speak.

David's Psalm of Victory

The Brick Testament celebrates its 350th illustrated Bible story this week with the addition of an illustrated psalm that brings the King David section of the website to a fittingly dramatic conclusion.

Certainly David is about the mainest of main characters in The Bible. His name appears 895 times--second only to Jesus (942 times) and Yahweh himself (5,787 times)--and the telling of his long, remarkable career stretches across four books. Hope you've enjoyed The Brick Testament's visualization of that life, as David journeyed from precocious decapitator, to corpse foreskin collector, to slaughterer of women and children, to royal polygamist, to ethnic cleanser, to ineffectual father, and finally to enfeebled old man.

David vs His Own People

We all have the occasional family fight, but as we find out in this latest set of six new illustrated stories, when you are God's elect ruler over his chosen people, a squabble between father and son can result in the grisly death of 20,000 people.

And while most of us hope for a relatively peaceful and relaxing old age, we find King David living out his golden years in a constant and bloody battle for power as his sons, his subjects, his friends, and even his wife take advantage of his dwindling faculties.

Rape, Murder, Revolt, and Strange Advice

Little is going right for David as he enters into his advanced years as king. His virgin daughter Tamar is raped by David's firstborn son Amnon. Another son Absalom murders Amnon, forms a popular uprising, and drives David out of Jerusalem. As he is fleeing, an old enemy tosses rocks and curses at him. Perhaps strangest of all, we begin our set of seven new illustrated stories with a giant long-since-decapitated enemy unexpectedly returning to fight the Israelites anew.

Rest assured, all these convoluted goings-on are part of God's plan, as he selective intervenes in human affairs to bring disaster on David's family and bring disaster on Absalom.

David Loses a New Son, Gains a New Hat

Happy new year! The Brick Testament website rings in 2008 with seven brand new illustrated stories from the continuing saga of King David.

It's wacky mayhem as David impregnates a married woman and arranges to have her husband killed. When this newest addition to David's ever-growing collection of wives gives birth to a little baby boy, God forgives David for his sins, but strikes the baby dead. On the brighter side, David gets a shiny new hat after his army massacres the Ammonite people and enslaves the citizens of Rabbah.